Irritations
by WolvesFire77
Summary: There was nothing more fraggin' annoying than that...that...that thing! Just a one shot about something that really peeves Prowl. Very faint mentions of Prowl/Jazz but nothing dramatic.


Author's Notes: Hmmm....ok let me just tell you now...my muses saw the prompt and practicly tore my head off because I couldn't write it fast enough. Just some crackiness that attacked my muses.

Enjoy!

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He could handle most things.

Key word: Most things.

He could handle the dinobots on their worst days, Wheeljack's destructive engineering, the CMO's headstrong attitude, even a certain yellow twin's devilish tirade, and the best part about it all was...he could do it all with a straight face. But this. Now this was something his cords could no longer take.

It was suppose to be a harmless little saying. Nothing more. He'd heard his commander say it a couple of times. Once during a planning meeting, a couple during a battle, even once during his late cycle energon.

He didn't mind hearing if from his commander. In fact, he kinda expected little sayings like that from him.

_"Their for our soldiers Prowl. Kinda like a pick-me-up." "I see Sir. Very well."_ He'd told him.

Yeah that was something he didn't really pay attention to at the time.

That was, until he heard a certain yellow minibot happily say the commander's motto. He had to admit it stopped him in his train of thought for a moment but he dismissed it. After all what kind of trouble could two mech's saying the same little motto cause?

Apparently alot.

Not long since the little bot started saying the catchy motto, other's put it upon themselves to learn _**AND **_recite the saying whenever they could fit it into a conversation. He couldn't go a whole cycle without hearing those five dreaded words. He didn't even have to leave his own office to at least hear it once every single cycle. And every time his commander heard someone repeating his words he would sprout a huge smile that over flowed from behind his battle mask.

At first he thought it was one of the resident twin's pranks that they were trying to pull on him, but after realizing they hadn't started saying it yet they couldn't have had a hand in this. Even Jazz started saying it once and a while and that really peeved the Datsun.

_"Hey Prowler!"_

_"What do you want Jazz? I'm busy."_

_"I wanted to know the terrain specs for next week's field check."_

_"Why?"_

Then that trademark smile appeared on his face and those five dreaded words spilled out of his mouth.

_"Cause Prowler, knowing is half the battle."_

That was it! That was the final straw! He walked out of his office, fists balled and firmly held at his sides, growl rolling in his throat with each heavy step he took, and glare set on the air in front of his optics. He didn't know where he was heading, and he didn't care. As long as it was away from that fraggin annoying motto!

He counted how many times he'd heard it from the short walk from his office to his quarters. 37 times. _**37 **_freakin times. Didn't they know what over doing it meant? He had just put in the first pin number to the code on the scanner locking his quarters when he'd heard it.

The alarm rang.

Screaming to the now running mechs that decepticon's were in unwanted territory. He ran with his head held high, his wings flared up and in, with a faint smile on his features. A battle meant fighting, and fighting meant keeping your processors set on your opponent. Leaving no room for stupid puns. He ran out the entrance doors, seeing Optimus ordering the others that were already out there.

"AND REMEMBER-!"

He slid to a stop kicking up dirt as he went and stared at the commander, currently perched a top a dirt mound.

_Oh Primus...please don't say it._

"-KNOWING IS HALF THE BATTLE!"

He fisted his hands as he heard the others cheer and wave their fists in the air, clearly pumped up and ready for a good fight.

He didn't even realize how he had managed to down the decepticon's chief air commander. He didn't even realize he had him in a head lock, bending backwards till he got slapped in the side with a full on null ray. It wasn't nothing big, but it took him a could of minutes to re-boot his motor skills. He sat up, ready to continue his fight with the blue seeker that shot him, seeing the twins handy work had done a number on his thrusters and wings. He cursed that moment, for that was when his highly tuned audio's picked up Bluestreak high fiving another, chanting those words.

He growled and lunged for the larger seeker, feeling his anger and energy rev up from 0-60. He had to admit the seeker wouldn't have been a challenge, that is if his whole trine hadn't decided at that moment to jump in. With a blast from Jazz's gun and a shove from Ironhide Prowl managed to down the seekers, throwing Thundercracker and Starscream unconscious leaving Skywarp laying over the others with major wounds. Not enough to kill, but badly enough to render him useless in today's battle. He nodded his head and marched off, only now feeling the full affect of taking on three seekers without a gun in sight.

"Hey Prowl? You alright?"

Prowl glanced to his left as he walked, not even noticing the limp firmly holding onto his left leg where the purple seeker had kicked him, and saw the worried face of his entrepreneur. He sighed and forced a smile on his sore face plates.

"Yeah Blue. I'm fine."  
"You sure? Cause I've never seen you fight like that."  
"What'd you mean?"  
"You fought like you were actually angry with them."  
"Oh but Blue I was."  
"And you just jumped in there without even thinking about it. You never do that!"  
"How do you know I didn't think about my positions? My fighting stances?"  
"Because you stop and look at your opponent up and down, looking at their size and weight. You calculate your answers, which takes you a good 30 seconds then you jump into your fight. I'll tell you this now, you've never come out of a battle this banged up before. You should go see Ratchet."

He tried thinking of something smart to tell the other but in that short period of time he heard that saying again, this time in the far distance. He growled as his optics narrowed and his hands took their previous positions at his sides, slightly bent. Bluestreak saw the dramatic switch between Prowl's reactions and watched on with wide optics as he started to feel the furious rage race through the mech in front of him.

"I will once the battle is over alright? Excuse me, I need to get rid of something."

Prowl took off running, not even paying attention to the damage his body previously gained. It seamed anger was a nice patch up for injuries don't you think? He stopped for a moment and almost tripped over himself when he realized who'd said it.

"OPTIMUS PRIME! YOU WILL FALL TODAY!"

He had to shutter his optics a couple of times before he realized Megatron had his arm cannon pointed straight at Prime. Realizing he should do something, he quickly picked up his peds as he ran and locked his fingers, readying himself for the impact he was about to engage in.

"TODAY YOU WILL BE YOUR LAST OPTIMUS PRI-"

Prowl tackled Megatron as the cannon went off, shooting it as it lifted up and clipping the bottom of his wing.

"You accursed scum! Get off me!"

Prowl ignored the massive amounts of energon dripping from the bottom of his injured, limp wing and sat on Megatron's chest: pounded into his head, taking his anger on the other's helm.

"YOUR THE _ENEMY_! Your **NOT** suppose to copy your opponents cheat puns! Your suppose to make up your **OWN**!"

But he was soon rammed into the ground by the decepticon's second in command.

Prowl and Soundwave were of equal strength and weight so it was a fairly evenly matched fight. That was until he heard Optimus say those five words, and yes they were aimed in his general direction. He slugged Soundwave in the moth cover, causing the metal to give and crack under his fist.

Soundwave angled himself with his arms as Prowl stood over him.

"Please tell me your not saying it too."  
"Question: What?:  
"That stupid pun that everyone is saying."  
"Answer:No. Annoying pun does not seem fit for this conversation."

Prowl let his shoulders slump along with his wings.

"FINALLY! Someone that sees optic to optic with me!"

Prowl and Soundwave looked to the right as their attentions where directed to Megatron when he bellowed a retreat. Soundwave stood up, brushing himself off and looked down at the other. Prowl shrugged and turned around, subspacing his gun as he did.

"Good-bye Soundwave. Kick your aft tomorrow."  
"Farewell Autobot Prowl. Your accusation is incorrect."  
"You just wait Soundwave. I'm never wrong."  
"There is always a first time for everything."

Prowl stopped mid step, feeling the heat of aggressions rise in him for the hundredth time that solar cycle.

"Oh you wanna go Soundwave! Come on! Let's go!"

Prowl had turned around and held his fists, leaning forward as Soundwave did the same, angling his visor ridges in a down position.

"Bring it on Autobot!"

But just as they were about to lunge at each other Megatron yelled "Soundwave! Get your aft over here! We do not have time for your shenanigins!"

Soundwave turned his back on Prowl but when he walked a little ways away he turned around (still glaring through his crimson visor) and pointed to both his optics with his two fingers, then turned his hand around and pointed to Prowl. Knowing what that meant he responded with his own hand jester, the ol' raised middle finger.

Having a small smile of satisfaction Prowl turned around and walked the rest of the way to where the other's were. Once he made it to the gather autobots he received strange glances and stares.

"You ok Prowl?"  
"Yeah you fought kinda...rough...and...differently too."

Prowl shrugged it off and continued walking towards his place next to Jazz, who was smiling worridly at him. Well he was walking until he was roughlyjerked backwards. He looked questionably at the CMO and was about to ask what was up, until he was filled in.

"Your too damaged."  
"But I can still stand. And walk too."  
"So? Have you seen your self lately? You've lost enough parts and metal to supply Wheeljack for at least a month."  
"HEY!"  
"Sorry 'Jack. But you were in my line of view and so I just had to use your name. Don't worry everyone does it."

"Fine but I'm not sitting down."  
"You stubborn fragger. At least lean against something."  
"Why? You can't scan me standing up?"  
"Who's the medic Prowl?"

Prowl grumbled his complains earning a warning glare from the CMO. He felt the slight tingling of the scanner start as his chassis and slowly make it's way down.

_:Wonder what got Prowl so revved up.:  
:I think it's that new thing going around.:  
:Oh you mean Prime's catchy little motto thing? That things tha' bomb!:  
:Yeah that thing. It's annoying and apparently, it's what pushed Prowl's buttons. Well I'm not all that sure it's the saying itself.:  
:Well...test is out. Have Blue say it.:_

Sunstreaker gently nudged the little Datsun next to him drawing his attention. "Hey Blue. Say it again."

"Huh?"  
"That motto thing."  
"Oh..ok...and knowing is half the battle!"

Sunstreaker nodded and turned back to Prowl only to have his smile widen. Prowl was looking down, clawed digits digging furrows into the boulder he leaned on and his words barely reached their audios through his clenched teeth.

"If you say _'and knowing is half the battle'_ one more time..."

Sideswipe met his brothers evil glance and mirrored his sinister smile. Sunstreaker crossed his arms and Sideswipe gently nudged his twin with his elbow.

"Watch this."

The red twin turned to the fuming, injured Datsun and put a hand by his mouth to amplify his voice.

"Hey Prowler! Nice job on those head-on attacks with the seekers! It's a good thing you know a flier's anatomy! Hey, knowing is half the battle right?"

Prowl narrowed his optics as he shifted his glare from the dirt to the laughing red twin. He slapped his brother'shand and continued laughing, not even noticing the death glare that was being shot at him. Prowl pushed himself off the boulder he was now heavily leaning on and slowly made his way to the laughing twins. They were still engaged in their 'special' hand shake when the crowd of mechs around them started to clear out of the way of the incoming Datsun.

When Prowl was in range he saw the Red twin pull away from the yellow and wipe away the small optics tears his laughing had caused, and when he finally caught sight of the growling Datsun it was too late. Prowl had lunged and tackled Sideswipe to the ground. The mechs just stared on as the scuffle ended as quickly as it started, but when the small dust that was kicked up settled they saw Sideswipe was on his stomach, his right wrist handcuffed to his left leg while his left wrist was hand cuffed to his right leg. But that wasn't it, oh no he also sported a pretty nice sized dent in the side of his face plates.

Prowl walked stiffly back to his boulder, mumbling something about 'anyone else who said _it_' would get worse. He plopped down on the boulder missing his bonded's knowing smirk as the limped by.

Ratchet chuckled as he pulled back out his scanner, getting right back where he left off, but that wasn't what caught his attention. No, it was the fact that Sideswipe was rocking back and forth, angrily growling at his twin to hurry up and help him out of the fraggin' handcuffs. Sunstreaker held his abdomen as he calmed down his laughter just enough to get out "Now you know messing with Prowl was a bad idea!"

Sideswipe growled up at his twin and craned his neck in the medic's direction to see Prowl glaring at him as he leaned his elbows on his knees, letting Ratchet scan his flared out doorwings. He answered back with his own glare and yelled his thoughts.

**"AND KNOWING IS HALF THE BATTLE PROWL!"**

Prowl growled and narrowed his optics even more as he stood up, clearly ready to go another round with the red mech, but Ratchet put a hand on his dented up chest plate forcing him to sit back down. He wanted to let Prowl go at it with the red twin, Primus only knew he needed a good aft kicking. And boy could Prowl kick and aft when he wanted to, especially in this kinda mood. But the medic in him told him not to let an injured patient continue fighting. Not even if the opponent was Sideswipe. _Damn medical instincts. Always get in the way of my fun._

"Don't worry. I got this one."  
"Ratchet were'd that-"

But Ratchet quickly turned around ignoring Prowl's question and chucked the wrench in his hand at Sideswipe's head. He hit on target, like he always did, hitting a circuit for emergency stassis and the red Lamborghini fell silent as his head fell forward into the ground. No later than expected snores could be heard coming from Sideswipe's dirt buried face.

Sunstreaker stared wide opticed at his brother for a few seconds before bursting with laughter one again, soon falling over and kicking his peds in the air as small optical tears ran down the tear tracks on his face. Ratchet surveyed his work and nodded in approval before he turned back to Prowl.

Prowl stared at the two downed front liners with that evil smirk and sat up straighter as Ratchet instructed him too.

"Good aim Ratchet."  
"Well Prowl, you learn to improve on it the more you practice. And trust me I've had alot of practice since we were stationed on Earth."  
"See and that's why I never want to piss you off. I'm afraid I'm going to get even more injuries while I'm getting repaired."  
"And we all know you can't handle berth-rest Prowl."  
"Nope. Not even for a cycle."

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Author's Notes: Alrighty then peoples....bunny inspired fic in case you didn't know. It's just another dump that happened in my darkest hours. (When I was enduring writer's block and dealing with my laptops illnesses) but hey, it worked :] Didn't know if I should have put it up but eh, why not?

Hope you enjoyed it at least a little and thanks for reading!


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